the least of these…

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“Then the righteous will answer him ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

My dark heart passes judgement on others; my dark heart decides who is worthy of my time and attention; my dark heart chooses favorites.  But I thank God that not everyone shares the same darkness as me.

Three years ago I met three people who over those years have really changed my heart and attitude about so many things.  Those people are Joe and Sue and my best friend, Kathie.  Once a month Joe and Sue round up volunteers and food to serve over 100 people who are staying at the homeless shelter downtown.  At the time when I first started attending church with these three, I also worked near the shelter.   I told Joe and Sue I would give them money or buy food but I wasn’t about to spend my day off with the people I saw every day of the week.  My dark heart determined who was worthy of my time, and it was not the people Joe and Sue loved.  It was not the people who received fresh flowers on their drab cafeteria tables in order to make them feel special.  It was not the men and women who just needed to see Jesus.

I also met my best friend Kathie at church and each Christmas she gathers personal toiletry items and makes Christmas gift bags to hand out when Joe and Sue are serving dinner at Christmas time.  My dark heart judged the people that my friend was trying to love.  I didn’t think they would care one way or the other about the bags.  She couldn’t share about making the gifts without tears in her eyes and I couldn’t help but roll mine in annoyance.  I carelessly tossed items into the bags and she lovingly made certain each bag had the right amount.  ”I just want everyone to get enough,” she said when I didn’t understand.

My dark heart groaned as we organized the youth to hand out bags to the folks at the shelter.  I just wanted to get it over with, but I listened to Joe share about the people we were about to serve.  ”If you feel led, sit down and share a meal with someone.  Talk to them, love them for Jesus.”  I was certain I didn’t feel led.  But I saw Sue serve up vegetables with a smile and a laugh for everyone and I watched several people come to hug Kathie and thank her for digging through the extra bags to find just the item they needed, and my dark heart winced.  If the people eating this meal were looking to find Jesus in me, all they saw was judgement and condemnation.

So this month when Kathie said we should go to serve the meal, my dark heart remained silent.  I smiled and gladly agreed to go.  I smiled when I handed the food to the men and women seated at the table.  I happily asked if they needed more of anything, I told them I hoped they enjoyed their meal and when they thanked me for serving, I said I was glad to do it, and I meant it.

fishing is life…

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Years ago when I was a wee child, my Pop and I went fishing a lot and like many things in our lives, it became a short lived obsession.  I was too young to care much about the actual activity, I just liked being outside with my father.  Catching fish was not high on my priority list, so when “the big one that got away” robbed all enjoyment of the activity from Jim, we hung up our tackle boxes.

Until this past weekend I had not given any thought to fishing.  But my friend and I went away to de-stress and unwind and she wanted to go fishing.  It seems I have not grown much in the way of becoming an angler for as she patiently cast her line in the small pond, I wandered through the woods taking pictures and investigating bullfrogs.  For all practical purposes, I was still ten.

The woods were beautiful, even with the rain and clouds.  I have always found that even in “bad” weather, the mountains and the woods still hold a beauty that few other things in life can compare too.  I was not bored while my friend was fishing, I just wasn’t interested in standing rooted to one spot while aimlessly casting my line in and reeling it back in…until I heard the magic words “I’ve got one!”  and then I came running!

(Photo above:  Kathie reels in her 9 1/2 inch small mouth bass.  First photo below:  Kathie posing with her catch.  Second photo below:  Kathie deftly and swiftly removes the hook from the fish before releasing him back to his home)

                                                                                                                                                 

After watching Kathie catch that bass, I was quick to ask if I could try.  So I did and I got a few nibbles but nothing to pull in.   We finally packed it in for the morning, but I asked to go back again.  During the following outings, I never did catch anything, but a funny thing happened, I began to see the allure of fishing.  It was more than trying to outsmart the silly fish I could plainly see in the shallow water as they all watched my worm go inching by; it wasn’t about wanting to win a competition, other than to beat the fish; it wasn’t even about the possible thrill of reeling in a whopper.  I realized, it was about nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  You can’t talk on a phone or to your buddy you came with or you’ll scare the fish away.  You can’t surf the internet because besides from not getting a signal in the middle of nowhere, you can’t hold a computer or smart phone and fish effectively.  Fishing is about standing alone in the midst of a God’s creation and thinking about life.  Enjoying the moment you are in, not thinking about things you left undone or what is waiting for you when you return.  But just standing there on the edge of a still pond and enjoying that moment, that moment right NOW.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  It’s about patience and letting go of what you can’t control.  It’s about just being still.  I felt more relaxed than I had in months and there wasn’t anything that seemed so urgent in my life.  I just enjoyed living in that moment.

It would still be nice to finally catch a fish, though!

all of creation sings

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Today is a beautiful day.  Close to perfect, I’d actually say.   So rather than muddy it with my inadequate words…I’ll let the pictures speak their 1,000 words.

The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; 
   where morning dawns, where evening fades, 
   you call forth songs of joy.  -Psalm 65:8

Shout for joy to God, all the earth! 
   All the earth bows down to you; 
     they sing praise to you, 
       they sing the praises of your name.  -Psalm 66:1,4  

You gave abundant showers, O God; 
   you refreshed your weary inheritance. -Psalm 68:9

Praise be to his glorious name forever; 
   may the whole earth be filled with his glory. 
            Amen and Amen.-Psalm 72:19

obligation or joy?

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I went for a little early run this morning…well, wait, let me define “early” and “run”.  It was about 9:15 a.m. which, to me is early but I realize some people have already cleaned an entire house, dropped 7 kids off at school, bought groceries for a dinner party of 20, written a best selling novel AND ran a marathon by that time.  I am not that person.  And by “run”, I mean I jogged slowly while huffing and puffing, stopping intermittently to wheeze and gasp and pray for death.  I have discussed my reasons for running before with you and all that still holds true (see post entitled “finish better).  I never said I enjoy the actual activity, though.  I kind of enjoy it, but I enjoy it more when it’s over.  I enjoy the feeling of making my body stronger and healthier and I enjoy the idea of casually saying “Oh yeah, I go running almost every day.”  It sounds cool, don’t you think?

But I do not run for the JOY of running.  I did love being outside this morning running under the flowering trees in the historic Johnson Street district near my home and it was a glorious feeling  with the cool morning wind on my face and the sun on my back.  But I was running more out of an obligation to do something “good for me” rather than just for the joy of it all.  As adults, I think we do so much out of obligation rather than for the joy in the thing or satisfaction from a job well done.  As followers of Jesus, we often do things because we are supposed to rather than because we want to draw near to God.  Our faith becomes an obligation.  We read our Bibles, we pray, we go to church and serve on committees and get involved because we think that is pleasing to God.  But it’s not.

I want mercy and not sacrifice. 
      I want you to recognize me as God 
      instead of bringing me burnt offerings.–Hosea 6:6 (NIRV)

What good is reading the Bible, praying, going to church and serving in ministry if all we are doing is punching in our time and checking off items on our spiritual to do list?  I’ll tell you.  None.

How much different would my runs be if I ran because I was searching for the joy in the activity rather than focusing on checking it off my daily to do list?  Wake up:  check.  Drink coffee:  check.  Run: check.  Read my Bible: check.  Pray: Check.  Go to church and serve on a ministry team: check.  Okay whew! Glad all that’s out of the way.  God does not desire us to be in a routine of sacrifice.  God desires us to know Him, to draw close to Him, to desire Him.  It’s not a duty or an obligation.  Or at least it shouldn’t be.

I find reminders of how God wants me to live my life in the strangest places: cats, dogs, abandoned boats, construction holes in front of my house, and now…yes, children!

Look at these pictures and tell me, are these kids doing things out of obligation or out of JOY?

i may pay the bills around here…

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But I certainly do not own a thing…

Some of my friends are not animal people or cat people or dog people.  But I clearly am.  I grew up on a farm with cats, dogs, cows, horses, ponies, chickens and yes, even a pet parakeet named Perry.  Those of you who know me well will find that one amusing I am sure.  I have two parents who absolutely love animals and dogs especially.  The only time my father ever went without a dog was when he was in college.  So, animal love is sort of in my blood.

I look at my pets and I see that truly, they own me, the house and anything they want, as is evidenced by these photos.  But the deeper truth of this post is that I really do NOT own a thing.  All I have is by God’s hand.  I joke and say “No, I don’t own my house, I rent it from the bank.” But the reality, the actual no kidding reality, is that I “rent” everything from God.  Any paltry tithe or offering I give to Him is already His because He gave it to me to begin with.  It’s much the same as when I was little and my father would give me money to buy Christmas presents for him and my mom.  I had nothing that he did not give to me first.

So it is with me and God.  I have nothing that He did not give to me first.  The very breath that fills my lungs is because He fills the air with His presence and each day I breathe deeply of Him.  The house, the food, the car, the clothes, the animals even, none if it is mine.  It is His.  He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and He owns the hills as well.  He owns the world.  When Satan tempted Jesus with the riches of the world it was really a comical thing.  Satan didn’t own it.  He was offering Jesus what was already rightfully His.

My animals, in however a light and charming way, remind me daily that no, I do not own anything in this world, nor does it have anything that I need.  Oh, I may want plenty of things, but need them?  Hardly.  Look at my animals here.  They certainly want for nothing and have everything they need.  Just as I do.  Just as God as provided me…and them.

open windows are back again

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We all look forward to spring.  Everything thaws out and crawls out from under the winter blanket.  Okay, well this year, maybe here in the North Carolina Piedmont we didn’t have such a harsh winter, only one snow to even mention and that was gone by 9 a.m.  Still, the  first day we can open the windows and let the sounds and smells of spring inside is reason to celebrate and now, anytime the window is open, the girls are up there.  Fat Sam regrets he is unable to join them.  He can’t make the jump.  As I type this, Lucy and Lexi are up there lounging as best they can, even though the window sill does not really accommodate two 10 pound cats.  Still, they try.  Here’s to many days of open windows and welcoming springs days!

the journey

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The sunset was a gift before it all started.  Amazing beauty, breath taking colors, a foreshadowing of what was to come…

They came without knowing what to expect, without expecting anything. They came with a little uncertainty but they trusted us.  They knew we would never lead them wrong and so they came with open minds, with open hands and open hearts to receive what was there.  They came without understanding just exactly what it was they were coming for, but they came in eager anticipation.

They didn’t know it, but they were coming for the letting go, they were coming for the healing, they were coming for the fellowship.  They walked in the door and left their fears behind, they left the world outside and stepped into grace.  They came together, leaving their social status behind, forgetting they did not all move in the same circles, but came together moving as one, with the same purpose, the same goal.

They spoke of forgiveness.  They listened to the Truth. They spoke to the One who Heals. They came to the cross, the simple cross that made us beautiful.  The cross that at first look is horrific and ugly, yet when the Truth came, that same cross accomplished the most amazing thing ever, it purchased our redemption with His blood.  And they came boldly to the cross.

The cross and the Word made Flesh all in one, one in all.

They heard the words, they sang them loud “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.”  The foot of the cross is big enough for all.  The foot of the cross takes the pain, begins the healing.  The purifying fire burns it all and He remembers our sins no more.

We all carry burdens, like stones that weigh us down.  God does not intend for those worries and cares to follow us day after day.  He asks us simply to give them to Him.  His back is strong enough to carry them all, He does not wrest them from us, but He gently asks us to lay them down, as we laid our forgiveness down and as we burned our sins to be remembered no more, He asks we willing lay down our burdens.  We want to hold on to them because we like to feel the weight of them, somehow we think it makes us safe, or gives us a feeling of control.  But all it does is slow us down.

So, they came and they laid their burdens down.  They raised an Ebeneezer to say “this is what the LORD has done.”

They left their burdens there, at the altar to the Lord.  They let Him take the things that weigh them down.  They trusted.  They walked away a little lighter, a little stronger.

What impression do we leave?  We walk this earth for a brief time and what mark do we leave behind?  Will our footprints be forgotten, as if we never passed this way?  Or do we leave a lasting impression for generations behind us to follow?  How can we leave that lasting mark?  From the life we live.  From the life we live for Him.

And finally, they learned what it meant to come before the throne.  They learned that Jesus had opened the way, had given us full and total access to a most Holy and High God.  They learned that Jesus is our perfect High Priest who tore the curtain in two and invited us in, in to the throne of Grace.  And they learned that where He is in their midst, there is love, there is trust, there is faith, there is friendship for the Journey.