oh there’s joy.
sometimes the joy comes after the weeping…after the sorrow…after the anger…after the betrayal.
Sometimes the joy doesn’t come in the morning, at least not the next morning. Sometimes it’s a year of mornings later.
But there’s joy.
There’s always joy because joy is what we choose.
We can hold on to the anger. We can walk in the pain. We can drown in the unforgiveness. And in those things there is no joy. Only sorrow. And weeping. And darkness.
Oh there’s joy.
Sometimes the joy comes through the hardest of tears flowing down a face that can’t find the strength to look up.
Sometimes the joy comes through hearts breaking because the refining fire is doing its work.
But there’s always joy.
At the foot of the cross on a mountain…in a quiet little chapel with lights down low and prayer all around,
There’s joy because I chose to leave my weeping there.
Not that it was easy. Not that I knew what it was going to look like. But because I chose it. I chose joy.
In the stillness after a week of self-sacrifice, looking up at that cross…the cross I have looked upon thousands of times before…it was true, I wanted to stay there, on that mountain far away from everything down below.
Because on that mountain it’s easy to live and breathe and be. On that mountain I don’t need to find the words to forgive because joy is all around. But it’s not joy of my choosing. The joy on that mountain is easy to come by because the very air is charged with it. Every breath that escapes is joy.
It’s when I leave that mountain that it gets harder to breathe. And it’s down below that I knew I would never chose joy, not in my own strength. Not when I was alone again.
So there, right there, on that mountain before I had to turn and leave…I chose joy. At the foot of the cross just like He chose the cross FOR the joy. I chose joy there because I had the strength to choose it then…surrounded by it, it was easier to choose because it was real.
Oh there’s joy.
On the mountain…the air is easier to breathe…and it’s easier to walk in the weightlessness of forgiveness, the unburdening of the anger and the letting go of bitter…
Oh yes, I longed to stay on that mountain but that’s not where I belong…but after that night I knew I could come back down and walk just like I did up on the mountain.
Oh yes. Oh there’s joy.